Do not disrespect Lucy!

'...and we have a puncture, Mum', Robe said...
'What!'
'When did you see it!?'
'Which wheel!? '
'Woi, and you are telling me now...?' I groaned as we ate our ice-cream. 

It was late but Aunty Koki had loudly suggested ice-cream in the hearing of several sweet-toothed people so we had to.



Thankfully, when we got to Lucy her front passenger wheel was alright and so were the rest.
The front wheel on the driver's side may need a bit of pressure...' 

But I've driven in worse condition tires and had to drive into a warehouse in the middle of a dark rainy night for help when both my front wheels had no pressure and I was practically running on the rims... (And they helped me imagine!!! But that's another story...) and survived. 

These will get us to Syoki.
Just pass by the Total and have the pressure sorted...' and off we went at a quarter to 8pm.  

I was in a rush. 

Bedtime is 8:30pm for my litu pipo on school nights and there will be no sleep for me tonight...deadlines and all.

Semeni last minute person? #WorksBestUnderPressure

I drove into the fuel station looking for the red 'Air' sign.  Robe saw it first and I drove past the bodaboda being fueled and noted a customer standing at the kerosene pump unattended. A number of attendants in red fleece were hanging about.
I angled Lucy to help the attendant get to all the wheels easily and turned off the engine as I looked back and waited for one of them to walk over.  

Two minutes later, no one had come over. The man at the kerosene pump was now leaning on it, waiting.
I tapped on the horn to announce my presence. And again after a short while.

The attendants had now gathered next to the fridge counting coins or something... 

There was three of them. 

Ok. No one is serving me...So lets go',  I thought as I turned on the ignition and started out of the station.
Then I remembered that Total is my fuel stop of choice and I very often fuel at Total Fuel Stations! They have my money!

And the mad black woman in me engaged the reverse gear and backed up all the way to the space where they were standing next to the shop door with the fridge at the entrance. They all sort of stooped to look into the window as I rolled it down because I got there rather suddenly. 

And with the sweetest, sieved honey-dripping voice I asked the two, (who were still looking into the car through the rolled down window as the third walked away telling them to 'semeni na huyo', yes, I heard him) 

'Itabidi ninunue mafuta ndio muniwekee pressure ama?'

'Tunakuja mama. Peleka gari pale'.
'Kama ni shida, naeza kwenda kwingine', I offered, controlling the pitch and volume I could hear rising in my voice. 

'Mama peleka gari pale, anakuja,' he said again pointing at the Air Pressure point.

I honestly thought I was just going to leave them there but I saw myself pulling the car to a stop in a bit of a huff at the same spot I had parked in some five or so minutes earlier.

When the man eventually walked to my side, this is what he said; (and he even sounded sorry...)
'Mama sikukuona'. 
And why is he calling me 'Mama' all the time! My children are at the back hidden behind the tinted windows...but is OK, mimi ni Mama Robe and Siji!

Ehe?  Hukuniona? I have been standing here for a while and I even hooted twice! 

'Wajua hizi gari tunaziogopa. Sikujua ni mama anaendesha'.

What?!!!!1
Akiyau! That got me mad!

What?!!!

Then the watchie whose JD also apparently includes wekaring pressure for customers appears at the other window and cluelessly asks, 

Ehe, ngapi?

Oh my gosh!

'Ulikua Wapi?'  I asked.

Nilikua nikipanga vitu kwa stoo.'

Yaaaani!

'Ni sawa. Wee endelea kupanga vitu kwa stoo'.

And as I took off I heard the attendant say that I didn't really need the service anyway.

Now why didn't I stop and reverse...again?

So now,  if you have a big, black, sweet ride, something that has a specific set of rugs and polishes in the boot in a specially acquired bag that helps you keep the stuff there organised, something that will dwarf me and that I will have to jump out of because of how high above the road level it cruises... 

May I please borrow it? 

I have a date with Total Mbagathi Way at 7:47pm next Sunday 31 of Jan 2016.

Call me up.